Inconsistency ...

Just realised i post once a year on average...I have never been able to systematically register events, or follow any system whatsoever. Is it a fault in my personality or just a fear of being committed. I do not know. I am not scared that someone might read it. The theory of probability states it is almost impossible that someone random can read it out of millions of other diary/ blog posts. So why i can not be more open and analytical with posting...may be it is time to make an attempt:)

The real woman is a nice one?

What does it mean to be a nice woman? I guess a nice one is a lovely, bubbly, smily, positive, leaving  that cloud of "everything is so good and going to be even better in my world". And then people (read other females) either want to be like her or feel jealous and try to convince themselves and the others she is not what she looks like and she is actually not that nice at all because them themselves have none of these qualities and their comfort sone is constant bitterness.
  For the start i do not like the word "lovely".  Even more i do not understand its true meaning. From my observation it is the word women generally use when they want to say something bad about another one and use "lovely" with that poisonous intonation. But sounds all decent, doesn't it? "Oh, these brownies are lovely", (yeah... they are burnt on the top, dry and hard to chew); "Oh your hair looks.. lovely (yeah.. it looks like you washed it in acid and the colour is a bit.. odd). So when it is impossible to truly admire and enjoy the word "lovely" saves the fragile wold of woman's friendship. After a while it feels sickly as it looks like a a group of hypocrits curious in each other's failures, frantically collecting them in order to discuss them later in a smaller circle.
But this all comes from being not satisfied with what they are. And this is another big thing. It is hard to admit that all your life, all the actions you do, all the games you play, all these face expressions you use to behave appropriately now and then in accordance with the expectations of what you call "the society" is the pretending game which has nothing to do with what you really are deep in your soul. You might be working on your image of following the rules for so long, may be since a "little girl era" that you have forgotten what is real. Or even more scary you have never got the chance to know what was real as we, girls are forced to learn the rules from the very early age. And to live like this is really energy consuming.  I guess the message is not to rebel against the rules and jumping into the chaos but may be finding the space to be yourself and discover your inner little or big strengths, celebrate you, and actually enjoy being you. Being you.....

What happens when you leave strawberries covered with the yummiest chocolate and decorated with fairy dust unattended on the garden table? Of cause bees will come and check it out... What if it is the fairy garden table? Surely the bees will call the little folks ...

Happy in the rain

You never know who you might meet in the gardens and forests of the Imagination land. :) I dare hope that all the monsters and bad guys were defeated in this one. The happy folks only live here now. Some of them dream... some of them live the dream... The most important thing is feeling great no matter what the weather is...

Happy Easter!

       Quite streets, locked shops, delayed project and the teenager saying "can I spend a day in bed as nothing works anyway"? is it really what it should be like? is it lack of family? or lack of faith? or lack of desire to celebrate something the meaning of which is beyond (yes that's right) my understanding. Chocolate is everywhere. Foil and bits of sweet luxury meet the eye. And I am shivering thinking about the impact of it to the growing system of 4 year old and 13 year old. First one is excited with the intrigue of sneaky Easter bunny who came at night and hid the chocolate eggs around the room. Second one is jealously checking if she has god the equal number of eggs as the first one. Everyone seems to be happy so far. Even despite the fact I realised I missed the deadline for submitting some work for two days and hysterically was trying to fix it. Luckily it was all right.
The day is peacefully grey. Even the cat is sleeping in his house. I wish I could as well. After the push at 5.30 a.m (which was supposed to be the morning) and a question: "Did you hide the eggs for kids last night, Dear?", I feel not quire energised in the afternoon. But the clock says it is 4 p.m. It is the first day of daylight savings and I realise it is a bit not right to have a nap. I would not anyway. But it was so cool to do some baking with the 4 year old. The result is laid out on the bench waiting for dad's "wows" when he is back home. It is a great day. Oh ! and the earthquake rattled the house just then reminding about appreciation of the peacefulness and treasuring every day of our lives. So we are going to do. Happy Easter!

There is something in the air..

well.. no wonder.. it might be new life, green leaves, blooming fruit trees, longer days and bigger hopes heated by the warmer sun in many places but not in upside down world. There is a cool wind, fussy yellowish leaves falling from the sky, tickling rays of autumn sun and darker mornings screaming about coming cold season. But not quite yet. So it is vast field for inspiration for drawing with all this colours and bitter smell of tired grass in the gardens. Soft apples touched by frost have the best taste ever. Arguable of cause! My Green grocer thinks it is not good enough and apples should be crunchy, juicy and firm as! I just smile.
It is all about tiny creatures which surely should live under the trees. And surely they know the winter is coming and surely they are coming out to pick the stuff to make their houses warm and cosy for the period of shorter days and longer sleeps. And Millions of acorns must be useful for something too! Little beehives, acorn ale, cups and saucers..oh! there is so much the little folks to do with it!
The most important thing is to catch this sparkly thoughts before they take off. The best place is the mason jar I guess and oh! keep not longer than a week in a dry cool place. The can be activated with watercolour or coloured pencils, and enhanced with the cup of divine hot coffee wrapped in blanket of soothing aroma of cinnamon.
Mmm..Autimn..:)

About Challenges

The challenge in life adds extra stress. You concentrate on the task, break your brains into pieces, start seeing the decision in your dreams, forget to have proper meal, increase intake of coffee and ta-da !!!! Come up with the result. You could be happy with it or not but the challenge is completed and there is a visible or touchable or even readable evidence of this.
Yes the challenge makes life a bit stressful. However it motivates me, tests me and brings all the best out. It pushes,  brings the action and the reaction and leaves something in my hands.
I have not had challenges for a while so i am creating the personal one.
I challenge myself to come up with ten new pictures the next month. This means i have to do one picture per three days... I have already found thousand excuses why it is impossible:) but to be honest i am really excited!